On Determining Family Size...

After much thought, I believe I've narrowed the determining factors of family size to 3: 1. Have as many children as you want, 2. Have as many children as you think is convenient for your family or situation, and 3. Have as many children as you think God wants you to have. You can let me know if I've missed one.

Which one is the right factor?

So, how is it that our society has come to the general thought that having more-kids-than-is-popular a *bad* thing? The attitude really isn't, "Well it's their business, they can have as many as they want", rather, it's more like this: "They are trying to get attention" or "That's too many kids" (which was recently said to us, about us, by a woman at a restaurant). What has happened to cause our society to think this way? I really believe it started with the Feminist Movement. Women were influenced to think that they shouldn't have the *burden* of having all those children, they should be given the power to choose! So comes the birth control pill. I really would love to know how Christian women really felt after being some of the first to give in to taking the birth control pill. I wonder if they felt guilt, at first? Now, of course, I'm sure many, many Christian women take the *pill* as did I for a few years when I first married. I know I really didn't feel guilty. But, I wonder how women felt before BC pills became the norm?

Since this is my blog and sort of my journal, I'm just going to blog my feelings about, well...how I feel. However, I would love your input on this topic and hope you'll leave me a comment at the end of this blog.

Back to the topic. Next, of course, came the wonderful (said most sarcastically) media influence. TV and Media affect everything, it seems. Sitcoms began showing 2 or 3 children, max. You never saw (or see) large families in commercials.

Lastly, there is a sense of selfishness in our time. No one can afford large families. You can't give each child adequate attention, you know. It isn't fair for a sibling to have to spend time helping another sibling. Blah, blah, blah... I believe this is the reason that disgusts me the most. I worked with a lady who, upon hearing I was pregnant with #3, would constantly remind me of how expensive her 2 girls are. Surely I didn't know how much car insurance for teenagers costs or Heaven forbid, Prom dresses!

Now, there are other reasons couples choose not to have large families, such as health reasons or unable to bear more, but I won't go into those. In fact, I'm not even going to pursue the above reasons, but shift my blog to a more personal level.

Growing up, I rarely played with dolls as did my sister. Babies were okay, but it wasn't me who always had somebodies' baby on her hip. When I got married, I knew I wanted kids, definitely 2, probably 3. We waited about 2 & 1/2 years (thanks to the BC pill) and then my son was born. It wasn't until after my daughter was born and I started reading several Child Training books and books on Natural Health that I began thinking that maybe I wanted more kids. Like 4. My husband and I felt (and still feel) a real calling to be Godly parents who raise our children different from today's norm.

I still don't know how I feel about having a large family, which I guess is interpreted, I still don't know if I'm supposed to have a large family. If I said anything of significance in this blog it would be this: I still don't know how I feel about having a large family. Yes I do, I feel terrified. I feel inadequate. But, one thing is for sure. I honestly feel convicted when I think about stopping my family growth. Which leads me to more thoughts. Thoughts of: Is God convicting me to have a large family because He wants to do something great with us? Which leads to more thoughts of: Does he actually call people to have large families? Or...does the whole world have it all wrong (minus The Duggars) and we should all be just letting God Take Charge of our Fertility? Today I was rocking the baby, contemplating over this post and the scripture came to about God giving us children as gifts. When We take charge of our fertility, aren't we stopping God from giving us gifts in His time? You know, and really it's funny how we ask God to take control of our lives, but yet, we control our family size? Hmm...just some thoughts for you to contemplate.

Most women say that can't handle that many children. "Mine are enough to drive me crazy", they say. I have found the answer to child training and that is in the Bible. I could do a whole post on that, but for now, let's get back to my thoughts, in summary, which are...

1. Are certain women actually convicted to have more children? (Which, in turn, would mean they are sinning if they decide against having more..right?)

2. Are we all really supposed to let God have His way in our fertility, like He does in the rest of our lives?

3. Then, there's the husband. What does He say? Of course, he is our head, so maybe we can just hope he only wants 3 and go with that because, after all, he's the head? :) (Sounds good to me..which is, ultimately, who I consult and who I will obey.:o)

I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Especially if you have 2 or 3 kids and feel done. Then maybe that will lead me to think some are just *chosen* to have large families?? If you are done, but have regrets, I would love to hear from you as well. Furthermore, be nice, please, if you think people are loony bins for having large families. I'm sure they feel loony at times without your reminding them. If you don't have a blog, you can leave a comment as "Anonymous". If it doesn't go thru with the first try, repost again.

Off to bed to get ready for tomorrow's SNOW day!! Yea!

On Pottytraining a little all along....

When our 7 yr old, Emory, was born, we were sort of clueless about parenting anything other than the 'traditional' methods. Even on disciplining, I really didn't have a clue other than going by what I thought I should do. Thankfully, the Lord rescued me and led us to some wonderful parenting resources and childrearing material. But, that is another post for another time.
When it came time for pottytraining, it was really hard work. Frustrating. Emory was 3 years old, weighed 40 or so pounds and size 6 diapers were getting too tight. Finally, he pottytrained at a month after he turned 3. He would still have occasional accidents on up for months after he trained.
With Erin, 4-year old, she seemed interested in the potty at about 10 months old. She would see her brother use it and the little potty was still in the bathroom at that time. I started sitting her on there before bathtime. She would potty. I think if I had been consistent and hadn't thought she was too young to train, she would've trained at around a yr old. She was trained a couple of months before she turned 2 years old. She even night trained at the same time.
When I was pregnant with Evan (2yr old) I had read articles like this about training babies from birth to go potty. I even bought a book about Elimination Communication (I let a friend borrow the book so I don't remember the title). It was no longer strange to me anymore.
When Evan was 2 weeks old, I put him on the potty. He was so cute sitting on this great big potty, his skin all wrinkled. He went. I just about told everybody. I remember when he was 4 months old, we were sitting at the table eating breakfast. He was in my lap and I heard and felt him starting to grunt. I had just changed his diaper, so I thought, why let him soil this new diaper when I can take him to the potty? So I ran to the bathroom, put him on the potty and he went! I think this was his first poop in the potty. I was stoked. :) It was not his last.
At this time, my mom kept my kids for me while I taught school. She thought the idea absurd and she and my sister concurred that I should just let him be a baby and not try to grow him up so fast. So, I could only take him to the potty during the afternoons and the weekends. This wasn't consistent enough, so I pretty much didn't try any harder than taking him occasionally on the weekends. Even so, he was not scared of the big huge potty when it was time to train. He was comfortable with going on the potty. When it came time to officially train him (I wanted him trained all the way before the new baby came), I put him straight into underwear. He had about 6 accidents the first day (Monday) and from then on that week, he had accidents every day, but they got less and less. By that Saturday, he was telling me when he had to go. He was trained a month shy of 2 yrs old.
Now with Ella, I have stayed home with her from the beginning. I have started out taking her to the potty. Even more so now since she is more agile and has developed muscles in her neck. The first time I put her on the potty, she went. Just like that. It was as if she just knew to go! Amazing. (Sorry, I still have'nt got used to the fact that babies can be potty trained...it still makes me excited). So..even though I haven't totally trained her to NOT go in her diaper, she still goes on the potty every time I take her. She is harder to get on there for poops because she doesn't give me as much of a warning as Evan did. :)
Some books and articles like this one, say to have a special sound you make to train the baby to 'go' when she hears the sound. I haven't been too consistent with that because she just goes as soon as I put her on. :) I have recently started saying 'Shhh' but I think that will be a problem. I need to save 'Shh' for when we are in church and she starts making noise. :)
To sum up, here are some helpful hints for early training (keep in mind, one can be more rigid and it is possible to totally train your child at a very young age, but this is more flexible. My goal is just to get my kids comfortable with the potty and to hopefully develop an early-trained child):
1. From the earliest point possible, take your baby to the potty. You can start off taking the baby with you while you potty. She will learn from your example.
2. Take your baby after each diaper change and before baths. If your baby wakes up and she feels dry, hurry and take her before she pees. Also, you can find success in taking your child about 10 minutes after feeding her.
3. To prevent from having to change so many poopy diapers, take your child at the first sign that she is about to have a bowel movement. Go with the first grunt. :) As weird as it sounds, sometimes I just know when my babies are about to go 'potty'. Go with that intuition.
4. With older training, don't be afraid to go straight to the undies. Pull-ups can be a training child's worst enemy. Don't worry. You won't have to clean up pee and poop more than around 5 or 6 days. :) Then it will be sporatic for awhile. You will be so proud of your little girl or boy. All while the Pull Up wearers will still be peeing and pooping in their Pull Ups! :)
I hope this was helpful. Training doesn't have to be a sudden process. It can be a smooth, easy, and gradual transition.
I mean, how would you feel if all of the sudden, one day, someone place you over this huge hole with the likelihood that you might fall into this big water abyss?
Have a happy, wintry Saturday and Happy Training!