Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Making your Man feel like THE Man...

My wonderful man, toothpick and all...
It's funny how we women can observe so much during a shopping trip. Surely it's not just me, right? I can have 4 littles underfoot and still be able to listen in on a nearby conversation. Especially if it's interesting. Some people may label me as, 'nosy', but I call it, 'Multi-talented'.

Today, it was just me and the baby, shopping till we dropped and we really had a great time. I got some great deals and probably got half of my Christmas shopping done. Tonight will be a long night, needless to say.

On to my topic. Today was not the first time I observed heated conversation between a husband and wife. Conversation that let me know who was clearly 'in charge' in their household. Conversation that let me know really quickly that the husband was not respected. At all.

While leaving the store...

Husband: "You know, we really can't afford to get all of this stuff."

Wife, hotly: "Well, if you wouldn't have bought that stupid uniform, we would've had the money."

Husband mumbles something that I couldn't hear, probably embarrassed that his wife was talking to him like this within earshot of me.

Wife, again: "And you're too scared to ask your mama for some money."

Husband gets into car, probably feeling like the luckiest man alive, right?

Oh, and I noticed that the woman was pregnant. Great environment to raise a child in. A child who will probably, for the rest of his or her life, hear from the mother just how 'low down' his or her father is.

I'm sorry to say that this seems to be the norm these days. What ever happened to the you're-my-hero, my-dad-is-bigger-than-your-dad, or just simply the respecting of the male as the authority figure in a home? Sadly, through the years, media has so 'dumbed-down' the man via TV sitcoms, advertisements, or other means, that some women have changed the way they see men. I honestly think the devil is accomplishing what he set out to do and that was to destroy the family. The first step is to remove the male from the place that God intended him to be: right under Him. If the devil can destroy the Patriarchal structure of the home, then, in turn, the family structure will be disfunctional and will be out of whack (for lack of better term). God is the head of man and man is the head over his family. This doesn't mean that the man is perfect but it does mean the man should be respected and be submitted to.

What if my man isn't worthy of being respected?
He is worthy because he is God-ordained as the head of your home. Unless he is abusive, he is to be respected and you are to submit to his authority. Strangely (tongue-in-cheek), you will be happy doing this.

What if my man doesn't make good decisions and doesn't always do the right thing? You are to still remember his place in the family structure God created. First of all, pray for him. Pray that God will give him wisdom, liberally. Secondly, there is nothing wrong with your suggesting an alternative decision if you have first of all regarded his suggestion with respect. You might say, "Honey, I think you have a good idea there and I'm willing to go along with that (you are showing him that he is respected and revered as the authority), but I thought of something else that might work, also." You do NOT want to say, "Well, that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. You've never been good at making decisions." Oh my. Recipe for marriage failure.

How can I make my man feel like THE MAN?
First of all, you can ask him. But, be prepared for what he might say. ;)
Secondly, let him lead your household. Don't be too quick to ask him to do too much. I've seen wives constantly spouting off things for their husbands to do. "Honey, can you get my purse?" "Honey, can you go get me a diaper?" "Honey, can you change the baby?" Now, I'm talking about in just a 5 minute period. Thank goodness, it's okay to ask him to help out (NOT nagging him), but asking him to do too much for you might make it seem like he has reversed roles just a bit (or actually it would be YOU who would be reversing roles). Thirdly, DO NOT mope about not having this and that. In general, no complaining! Especially when it would make him feel like his job just isn't cuttin' it. How wonderful today's marriages would be if the wives would just stop complaining, in general.

We need a revival in our marriages. I have a wonderful, wonderful marriage and an even more wonderful husband, but I know many, many people whose marriages are just, well...lacking. Some are downright headed for divorce. The devil is so happy. Let's pray for a revival for marriages everywhere. How about putting up a post that could help someone's marriage? How about passing along a book for a friend to read? Might I suggest Created to be His Helpmeet or The Excellent Wife. One of those books in itself could literally turn a marriage around to a marriage full of happiness and contentment!

God Bless! Go do something great for your husband! :)


  1. What a great post! I adore my husband and in return, he is always willing to give back a million times over. I always joke that he is the king of our castle, but it's true. He works hard to be a good husband, father and provider to me and our girls.

  2. This is so true and so needed! You really would do a good job writing/teaching about marriage and the home. It's a blessing to see your home as an example of 'the right way'. It's sad to see how much marriages are suffering because they honestly don't know what we know! There are wives out there who are hungry for the truth. We need to give it to them!

  3. I am going to have so much fun catching up here. I have so missed your blog. I just haven't stopped by in a while. Shame on me.


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